SYCAMORE
I wish I could be naive again, I have loved and lost and moved on to love again...but always with a different part of my heart, a less delicate and increasingly more cerebral part. I have intimate knowledge of how quickly love can blossom. I fully understand how rare it is to come across someone who somehow touches that deep intangible softness at the center of yourself...no matter how deep you try to bury it, and I have shed tears over how suddenly it can all fall apart...so when I say those three words not only do I know the gravity of the feelings behind them but I also respect how fragile they are...
And for all my gristle and scar tissue I still feel wide open to the slightest breeze of warmth I feel to be thought kindly of by such a confounding complex and beautiful woman such as yourself. Someone so native as I and someone so worldly as thee, its takes a stranger to render new colors of me, cool tones, like the spring green of my sycamore tree, that I sit under and contemplate the coming emptiness of a cruel summer without you...
I feel like I must be paying karma for some forbidden stolen love in a past life. I grow new budding branches of selflessness and friendship and love upward toward the light and warmth of Love only to be pruned back to hold a shape that has been predetermined by the vision of some benevolent force tending its garden, or maybe it's bad luck...I feel like I've only scratched the surface of all that you are through our painfully short time together, I feel cheated by time...
______, I am very simple at my core, I search for peace, stability and enlightenment...of which I've discovered in part in every passionate debate, hearty laugh, warm embrace and in every drop of sweat and sound and sensation of our tangled bodies...I admire the freedom at which you enjoy the life and time you've been given, at the same time your dedication to your family, you challenge me intellectually and present with all the sass and style that is you a unique lens for me to view our world...
I am a man of sweat and tears....I spend hours upon hours attempting to harden and temper my mind, body and spirit against the world, once again I find myself confronting a long known truth...I have no defenses or poker face or jiujitsu for my heart.. you will undoubtedly tear an irreplaceable piece of what's left of my little tattered heart shaped box when you go...just know you helped remind me I still have one...
Now is the time for lasting impressions, now is the time for goodbyes..
I love you, and in a way always will-
It is no coincidence I found your warmth during the coldest winter.
_____
the
love letter collection
submitted
1:45 AM EST
Wednesday, February 1, 2012