WHY THE HELL AM I SUFFERING


Dear Blank,

It's been quite a while since you've talked to me. I wonder how you're doing each and everyday. I wonder if you ever still think about how we used to be. To all you people reading this, I'll make this story short and simple for you. I met a boy, became best friends with him, started developing feelings for him, dated for quite a while, and then he ended it a year and a half later.

You guys are probably thinking how pathetic it is that I'm not over him and that I'm too young to know what love is. You may be right on both of those things. But let me tell you something. There is such thing as teenage love and that's what I'm experiencing. I still love this boy, even though it's been a little over a year since he ended it. He won't talk to me. Pretty pathetic huh? You'd think I'd get over it just like any other girl would. But no, that's where you're wrong. When things ended between us, I cried for months every night. It felt like I was living in pure hell. I've been having this ache in my heart ever since, it's gotten a little better, but I still love him. Not only does it hurt to know that I lost the one thing that meant the most to me, but I also lost my best friend, before we started dating we always talked on the phone on most nights.

I still think about him everyday, I love going to school just to see him. Even though he won't talk to me because he avoids me, I could care less. Seeing him makes my day. I wish he hadn't changed, I mean it's not like he changed for the worse. But it's not like he changed for the better either. No one truly understand the pain I've experienced. I still wear the beautiful butterfly necklace he bought me for my birthday. Even though I should hate him with all my heart, I can't. I can't stand to be mad at him. I could never ever hate him. It irritates me because he's not the one suffering like I am.

All I think about sometimes is why. Why did this happen to me, why the hell am I suffering. But he's not a bad person. He is the most sweetest person I've ever met in my life. He is so kind and thoughtful. He was so different from all the other boys. I couldn't help falling for him. I know I know, I should be over him. I mean people tell me it's different because of how long you guys dated, but no one truly has the guts to tell me to get over it. But, honestly. I can't get over him. I just can't. No one can compare to him. No one has ever gave me butterflies like he does.

I still love you, and probably always will. Please no that I will always be here for you, I still care for you, and that you're better then what you've become. I just wish I could have gone back before everything ended.

xoxo _____!



the love letter collection
submitted 8:32 PM EST
Monday, April 4, 2011