Dearest _____,

I know now that you are dead, and I know that writing this letter is pointless. But how can I help loving you? You were the darkness and the light, the alpha and the omega of my life. Without you, life has become meaningless. I believe that you would understand this, no matter where you are -- where you exist. And I am certain you DO exist somewhere out there, beyond my grasp.

What ever happened to us? The joy, the agony, the bliss and the loss? I guess we went our separate ways, but somehow I will never believe that you stopped thinking and dreaming of me, even unto your dying breath -- as I shall with you. I know that in my last moments of life (if I realize they are my last minutes on earth) I'll be thinking of you, wondering if you will meet and greet me there somewhere in the Light beyond mortal existence. You told me so often of your 'vision' and how there was something, some beautiful rapture, beyond death; how I would love to feel that bliss, and see you waiting there for me. Do you remember how you always told me that we'd be together in heaven; that soul-mates might be physically separated here on earth, but would ALWAYS be reunited in spiritual heaven?

I would even commit suicide if you wanted me to join you -- but I think you would advise that I must stay here and live out my mortal life, that there is no solution until we have lived the time on earth designated for us. Or would you? I just don't know. And for so awfully long I've not felt your presence; I wish you would return to me, and at least give me a SIGN that you are on a higher plane of existence. I imagine you there, in that distant aerial, spiritual plane, looking down upon me and wanting to advise me...but unable to reach me. Is there any way that I can possibly open a channel of communication? For if I could, I surely would. Maybe you can 'talk' to me in my dreams, as you once said you could. Now though, my dreams are only psychological, not spiritual. I have no idea how to reach you, or even receive all that you might be wishing and wanting to send/share with me...

But I shall remain OPEN to you, if you ever wish to come back into my life. Oh darling, I miss you so very much. You'll never know how deeply I regret that our lives could not merge to become as beautiful as I know they would have been with you...US as ONE.

I love you _____, I always, always will. Come back to me, please...I'll wait for you tonight in my dreams...with open arms, willing and wanting you forever.

Please, please come back to me...

Your Little Pebble

(the pet name you always called me)

[submitted 05/12/03]