I saw Lost In Translation the other night. It made me feel so odd.

I realize that I yearn for the same-- to have a love so pure and so satisfying, but I would have consummated it.

I even wish that an older man loved me, that I could love one back. I love the sensation of being taken care of--in every way. Someone who desires and loves me. Probably Freud getting in the way, but who cares? I think about those situations where it would be easy to find such--hotels, traveling--but I am too afraid of those who would do me ill. I also want a gentile person.

And I know it probably won't ever happen. But if it did, I would act on my passion.

[submitted 02/10/04]