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I FAILED YOU I know you wanted me to open up and I failed you. I was worried that when you saw the real me, flawed and broken, you would eventually get sick of trying to put all my pieces back together. It was as if I was a shattered mirror cursed with seven years of bad luck. Everytime you would try to help, I ended up cutting your hand as you reached for me. I thought you deserved more than the scared little girl I feel I will always be. I remember the way I felt in your arms, and it has taken me this long to figure out what it was exactly that I felt. Feeling safe had become so foreign to me that I couldnt recognize it if you shoved it in my face. You were maybe the only person to make me feel that way. I knew that you wouldn't ever hurt me like everyone else had. My scars were beautiful to you. My imperfections, made perfect in your eyes. Now you have a new girlfriend and you radiate hapiness. I envy her and the fact that she could give that to you. I wish so many things had been different and that it was still me you hold at night. It was my own fault. I broke my own heart over loving you and never telling you. Im sorry I never let you in, Im so sorry I never let you love me. I wish you all the happiness, because thats what you do for the ones you love. And I wish you the best, because thats all I can do for you. I know I have said sorry countless times, but no matter how much I say it, I know it wont change anything. Never the less, I am sorry.
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