I am sorry I overreacted. It never happened before, I told you that. I was never really worried about whether anyone I cared about was seeing female/male strippers or having a wild night out with some hot chick! Guess I am getting older. Is this a sign of mental instability or is it a debilitating disease of some sort? Something must be seriously wrong with me. I never react in this way. I never did the jealous routine with any of my boyfriends. Many wondered whether I felt anything for them at all. Anyway, my apologies. My behaviour was quite contrary to my nature. I would train myself to refrain from commenting on the various pussies that you might encounter on your exciting sojourns. Actually, almost all pussies would be the same once you are in them. Specially if it's dark.

As for arranged marriages, I have no clue to what you read and how unbiased the view it projected. But it's a truth and its here to stay. People get into arranged marriages for various reasons...tradition, family values, fame, money, honour etc etc. On the positive, chances of an arranged marriage breaking up is far less than a love marriage. The number one reason being the family support that an arranged marriage gets becomes the safety valve in pressure cooker situations. A love marriage on the other hand is on its own and often collapses from pressure within and without. Then again, many love marriages are later arranged if the partner fulfils the necessary requirements like cultural subgroup, social and economic status, educational backgrounds, family background(hell knows what that is!) etc. Here a marriage is as much between the families as the bride and the groom.

My parents had an arranged marriage and as far as I know they plan to stay together for life. They got married young...and since then they have been discovering themselves and that has given the relationship strength. My dad, as most dads around the world, is the perfect patriarch...proud, confident, loving, protective, caring, mostly unreasonable, control freak, unshakable in his beliefs, always thinks he is right and runs his family like his personal fiefdom, which in any case it is. My mom is the perfect antithesis. But they have a relationship, which would probably put any ardent romantic to shame.

I have no problems with arranged marriage. In fact in some utopian fantasy if our marriage would have been arranged, it would have been perfect. Problem is, this is the real world and I'll not find a soulmate ever again. Someone, who melts in to my mental and physical and spiritual entity to make it a whole. A symbiotic relationship. You are, therefore I am. To lose myself completely and then to discover my soul in another entity. For me that's what is supremely important in any viable relationship between a man and a woman. To hear the unspoken words, to taste the wetness of unshed tears, to feel the warmth of an unseen smile, to touch the soul even from far away.

Unfortunately, I have already found my partner and as far as I know, he would not be approved by my family, even if we were to be born in 3003 A.D. Therefore, I have to take matters in my own hands as much for my benefit as for theirs. Tying me to a worthless relationship that is fated to disintegrate would not make them any happier. Just that I have to help them see the inherent tragedy of such a situation. After all everything that they have done so far is to make me happy. As for you, my Amour, I ask for nothing more than your unconditional love.

[submitted 05/13/03]