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HOW
DEAD I FEEL I have known that this is coming for a while and I have been avoiding it at all costs, but to be honest with you, I just don't want to do this anymore. I want to stay with you, and that's why I have for so long, I want you to turn to me with tears in your eyes and promise me that it is all going to be different, but I know that will never happen. You keep saying it will be different soon, but I don't want to wait until soon, I want it to happen now. I know you aren't ready for it to happen now, I know that even if you said it would, you would find some way to go back to the way it was before. I have been asking for a change for weeks, months, years, I think I have been patient enough, it is just too late. We both know I am going to regret this, that I am going to turn around and take it all back because I love you so much, but there is really no alternative. It hurts more than it feels good and we both know that that means it is time to let go. Plus I know that if I really meant that much to you things would have already changed. It is funny to me how when you get mad that I complain about not getting enough time, you turn around and ignore me, you say I whine too much and you just don't want to deal with me. The fact is, I have been dealing with you and everything for four years and I never once ignored you. I think that sums it up right there, I have been there for you, I have put in the time to make our relationship work, I have dealt with all the pain and I stayed with you regardless while you promised you would do it soon, but it is too late. I wish we didn't have to end, I know how I feel when I am not with you, I know how much it hurts, how dead I feel inside and out, but I am going to have to try and make it work, because what we are doing now doesnât. I love you so much, please don't make me do this, just make it better before I give you this. I love you
[submitted
02/27/04] |