oh _____,

you are so beautiful and alive and lovable.I love to look at you and hear you talk.I only hate you (a little) when you smile at me, cause then your smile penetrates my cold cold heart and it breaks it.

Are you aware of what you do to me? I don't think you have the slightest idea of how important you've become to me. You don't know how it feels when you look at me, when you walk beside me, when you hold my hand.Then i feel that there could be nothing better and nothing more that I could want...

But I cannot help thinking that I'm not good for you and that you're not good for me either. I sometimes wish you'd find some nice girl, someone who'se not so small and ugly and cold and so terribly complicated as I am.

I know I would be soooo jealous, cause I want you for my own. And I know i said I wouldn't be, but that was a lie. I said it cause i wanted you to feel free.

I told you I needed a friend but i'm finding it hard being your friend. I don't know...I wish i knew what love really is and what loving is all about.But I like you...

_____

[submitted 02/07/04]