I wanted to write and tell you about something that I've been thinking about in the past couple of weeks (don’t worry! It's good!). Here recently I have felt that I have connected with you on a new level. It’s hard to explain so just bear with me. For the first time in my life, I feel that we are starting to become connected spiritually with someone...you. I've been a Christian since I was 11 and have discussed spiritual matters with many many people. Not once though have I ever felt that they were genuinely interested in going deeper in the discussion with me...deeper in the faith. I wish I could tell you how close I feel to you when we are doing the devotionals. That short amount of time the past couple of nights has been amazing. Not just the devotionals, but our talks about sex, love, and the other things of that nature. You talk with me. It makes me smile when I think about it. I just had to write you and tell you. Kind of like what the devotional said last night about showing love and not just saying it...I feel that you are showing me...I’ve said it a few times, but we are destined to do great things together. I want to improve on that statement just a bit by saying that we are destined to do great things together with God. As long as we make sure that there is room for God in our relationship I know that only the best can come of it. I am blessed and thank God every day for you.

I want to wish you good luck and fun this weekend. I am excited for you beyond belief. I see how your eyes light up when you talk about it and nothing makes me happier than seeing you happy. Yes, I will miss you...it's funny though, as it gets closer to time for you to leave, I feel better and better about it. Not that I want you to leave, but I am coming to fully trust that we are going to be o.k. (unlike Sunday night, but I've been praying). I say again...I fully trust that. I am no longer fearing the worst and I am welcoming the challenge because on the other side, in the fall, we are going to be so much stronger for it! I know I didn't see it that way a couple of weeks ago, but it all ties together I think, this spiritual connection is going to hold. Do you feel the same way, you know, do you think there's a spiritual connection? I don't want it to be a one sided connection, and I don't think it is.

I've also been praying about giving you to God. Yeah, it's hard. But, to tie in with everything above, I fully trust God and by giving you to Him I know that he will guide you and lead you in the right direction. When I look at it that way, I suddenly can see how comfortable I can be even though you’ll be gone. You won’t be physically here, but I trust that God will take the best care possible of you. All I do ask is that you pray to Him...I know you do, but just so you hear it from me...prayer is of the utmost importance. We can do all things through Him.

So, to close, I love you. With everything. I've spent the past month and two weeks getting to know you and love you and it's been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don't want to get all mushy, but with all we've talked about, I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. You are an amazing, mature woman who I am more than proud to call my girlfriend, and man I sure hope someday, God willing we end up together for the long run.

Have fun. You're in my prayers. And of course I love you.

[submitted 05/19/03]