FRANTIC OVER DERELICTS IN THE ALLEY


It’s been 6 years since we held each other close, even before then though it was a silenced embrace
One that wasn’t spoken of or disclosed. I remember the first time I saw you.
Far across the room and in another woman’s arms.
She was much more beautiful then I and and exotic...
She had dark hair, and eyes that were luminous. and I was the opposite...
Of course it's never been my style to interfere. And so I watched from a safe distance.

About a year later you had ended your relationship. And somehow our worlds collided.
I was involved with someone. Had only been for a few weeks. He had went to visit family
And you had invited mutual friends and myself to breakfast.
Over the next few days we spent much time together'
I was informed that you were a celebrity of sorts
And it didn’t change anything.

One day at my house you were there
And I was there and my children slept
You reached across and kissed me
It startled me and in a moment we were consumed in passion.
By morning though my conscience had gotten the best of me
The phone rang and the man I had been seeing confessed his love while you lay on the couch still asleep.
I woke you up
Explaining that you had to go and that "this" was wrong
You left very confused

Only days separated our meetings and us
And no matter how hard I tried to let go of you
You would stay
I called one night in a frantic over derelicts in the alley by my house
Left a message apologized and said I would take care of it.
Later that night I awoke to find you creeping up the stairs again to my room.
And to hold me throughout the night and talk
After "he" returned we made excuses to see each other and you not only made my children feel loved, you played for me that silly message I had left for you now months before...
we embraced so many times

I never felt I was what you wanted or what you could have
I broke my own heart when I revealed to you how I felt
You never called nor wrote me back
You still linger around my brother now and I know of your child and recent divorce.
I knew it would happen as you told me that you didn’t love her
I know that our love is taboo
But I don’t know if it was ever real on your part
That’s the only question that tears at my heart and rips our memories to shreds was I another notch.
Do you ever think of me?
Am I, a lost love?
I miss our friendship so
My brother says I was the topic of discussion at a recent party , and that you dubbed me the coolest chic ever
I guess that will have to suffice , right?