Me: You're such a bitch.

You: *laughing* Fuck you. But really, what did I do now?

Me: You got mad at me this morning!

You: Oh, come on! You totally just dismissed what I was saying to you.

Me: You've been leaving obscene messages on my voicemail as long as I could remember and out of nowhere you call and tell me that you're thinking about me and to sleep well and you expect me to take that seriously? Christ! Not only are you ugly, you're a dumbass as well!

You: *laughing* Oh, fuck off, bitch. So why are you so bitchy today, may I ask?

Me: My back hurts, and I still don't know what I'm doing this summer.

You: I thought you wanted to spend the summer together?

Me: I do, but I can't just live on the beach and drink away all summer long. I need to be doing something. Anything. Besides, aren't you going to take up that job in that soccer camp or something?

You: Not anymore...surgery, remember? And what's wrong with spending the entire summer doing nothing?

Me: Because, I'll just get lazy. Stop arguing with me.

You: Hey, shut the fuck up. My other roommate said hi, btw. I forgot to tell you that...You know, he came in last night and asked me out of nowhere if we were going to get married.

Me: You and I?


You: No, me and him. *laughing* who's the dumbass now?

Me: Fuck you! *laughing* Oh yeah. Speaking of...M asked me that too. She didn't really ask me, she just told me. "You and J are going to get married"

You: G and M are always saying that about us. But A said that and everyone else seemed to agree.


Me: It's only because we talk 24-7.

You: Yeah, I told them we would probably get along really well. Considering we wanted to go to college together and live together, we better get along well. Anyway, I was saying how we're practically dating now except for the sex part. We just don't have sex.

Me: What the fuck?!? Jesus! I don't want to picture having sex with you. Oh, gross.

You: *laughing* Thanks a lot!

Me: You aren't gross, but....oh god. I don't even want to explain myself.

You: I don't want to have sex with you either!

Me: You're the one who said it!

You: Okay, Let's act like we're five and scream and squirm.

Me: *laughing* I am acting like I'm five, and I don't care. That's still gross.


You: Jesus, do you honestly never think of me that way or something?

Me: Of course I never think of you that way! Geez, I adore you, and I love you to pieces, but I'm not in love w/ you!

You: *silence*

Me: Um...honey, are you there?

You: Yeah, sorry. I dropped something.

Me: Oh, no, it's okay.

You: So yeah, Lauren asked me to hang out with her this weekend.

Me: Oh. The girl upstairs. She broke up with her boyfriend, recently, right?

You: Yeah, her. She's a cool girl.

Me: Oh god. She's so tactless. She throws herself at you!

You: Oh, you don't like anyone I hook up with or IÕm dating.

Me: *laughing* yeah, but then again, you don't like anyone I end up having interest in!

You: You like all the assholes.

Me: You're an asshole.

You: You aren't dating me.

Me: *laughing* but it's better than that. I love you!

You: *laughing* oh, fuck you. That's the worst. I'm not in love with you, but I love you.

Me: what the fuck are you talking about? Why would you want me to be in love with you anyway? You're so weird. Shut up.

You: I was kidding! Jesus Christ! Didn't you say you had work to do?

Me: yeah, I should get going. I'll call you tomorrow after class though.

You: Did you say you needed help with some homework or something?

Me: Not anymore. I think you helped me enough today.

You: Right on. Okay, call me after class tomorrow, and if not, I'll call you before I go out at night.

Me: Okay, honey. I love you and I miss you a billion times a trillion.

You: *laughing* I love you, too and I miss you a whole bunch.

Me: Goodnite, and dream sweet.

You: Right back at you.

[submitted 04/4/02]