Why did I hang out with you today? Why didn't I just get on the bus at 5 and go home? I didn't want to see you. You make me so depressed. I feel so sad and all I want is some caring from you, one deep, tender, ineffable moment of affection. Do I ask too much? I wander the streets. Feeling nothing. Now it's all I got.

I'm such an idiot. I love you beyond words and I'm just going to hurt you and hurt myself by writing this. I can't even tell you this in person. I just melt every time I see you.

I'll probably freak out a few hours after sending this, log in as you, and delete it out of existence (you're never online anyway). Then go back to feeling sorry for myself. I suck. I so desperately suck.

Tender is the ghost
The ghost I love the most
Hiding from the sun
Waiting for the night to come
Tender is my heart
I'm screwing up my life
Lord I need to find
Someone who can heal my mind

-------
(the one who loves you too much)

[submitted 11/27/03]